March 18, 2007

• And I am there....

  He told me he was coming back on Sunday...so I made plans with my friends. Next thing I know, I get a text "I'm coming home Saturday at 9pm...what r u doing?"...told him I made plans. It was St. Paddy's day afterall...and peeps are out that day, just drinkin' and having a good time.

  I didn't cancel my plans. I stuck by them. Went out, hung out, met a few peeps, gave my number out...and at the end of it, I'm driving down to see him. Moving my Sunday plans around just to hang out. I come by...and it's like...time really made an impact on us. It was awkward. I was tired. I crashed immediately after I washed my face.  Nothing happened....not even making an effort to go out for breakfast/lunch. I was so bored...and I'm sitting there thinking, WTF did I come down here? You say you miss me, but you sure don't act like it! I felt like I wasted my time.

  I couldn't connect. I was grasping for something there and it was empty. Then I realized, it's time. Call the guy I met. Go out on dates. Start letting others in. Open my heart cuz this...whatever THIS is...is not satifsying to me. I need more. I want more and quite frankly, maybe...just maybe I've fallen out of love cuz I just see us as friends. No future...I no longer see us in the future...I see me and someone else that makes me happy. That gets me. I see me so happy and when I'm with him, I don't feel that way. I guess it's a good thing.

  Well, I'm off to a meeting. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

  • 9:02 pm
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