April 12, 2007

• Running late

  So i've had the "stuffy ears"..yes....my ears are congested (it feels like how my ears get when I'm going up high altitude and can't get the equilibrium on my ears to happen) since Monday. I think I'm getting sick. 

  For Jimmy --> as I mentioned, I would just comment on my page about your bloq re. cheaters. I agree with the author that a lot of it (the cheating) has to do with the relationship. If a s/he cheats on a partner then most likely they'll do it again. However it doesn't really mean that s/he do it to the new partner. What I do know is this...you gotta look at his/her history. If they have cheated in many past relationships...then they'll most likely cheat on you. If it's been only one....then you might stand a chance. I say this b/c I know a few peeps in this position. One friend of mine won't commit to anyone any longer b/c he's cheated so many times in his serious relationships. Then I have another friend that cheated on his gf (now ex), but that was when he was in his early 20s. When all those influences --> college girls, college guy friends saying he should be single, being young and dumb w/ a lot of (you know)....well, needless to say, he broke her heart. They tried to work it out, they broke it off. His next few relationships, he never cheated on them. He's now happily married and older...and no, I don't think he'll cheat on her. I think everyone is capabe of cheating. I'm not saying they will all cheat, but everyone is capable of it. Personally it'll take a earth shattering experience to change a cheater...but if s/he cheated and told the SO (significant other) about it and it's the first ever stupid thing done, then there's probability that s/he won't cheat..but it is a chance one takes...but if it happens a 2nd time, break it off!! 

  This upcoming Monday...it'll be a month of knowing him. We text each other every day, but we don't talk on the phone everyday (only when we make plans to go on a date). I want more from him, but I don't know how to go about it. I know it sounds silly, but I really don't know. I don't want to rush things or scare him off....I'm trying to go at his pace. Trying to figure out what his goal is...and it's too early to ask (me thinks). I just don't know. For me, it's so hard for me to like a guy...so when I do, I know I like him...and yes, I can see myself a year from now with this person...BUT....I just don't know. I mean, do I wait? Do this at his speed? This week I tried to see if he'd initiate trying to see me...so far nothing.  First week, he initiated. 2nd week, I initiated. Last date, I think I asked if he was free. He called to confirm that he did want to see me...so i dunno. I figure maybe he's not interested, but he's usually the first to text me in the morning and whenever I text him a question, he responds. I'm confused. LOL. I think what's frustrating me is not knowing what he's thinking. On my end, I think he can see that I'm interested. I just can't read him. Maybe I don't want to...I'm still trying to get to know him though, but I realized one thing on our date, (unlike the first week where he asked me questions) he never asked me any questions about my friends or my parents. I'm sure he asked how my weekend with the parents went, but he never asked anything specific about them (like what they do, etc).  I, on the other hand, asked how his parents were, if they still work or retire. I ask him how he was like in HS. I'm more curious to get to know him than I think he is to get to know me. But is this just gender differences? Are guys just more into the moment..the here...versus girls who tend to want to know a lot of things? I want to spend more time with him. Getting to know him and hanging out...even meeting his friends, but I haven't gotten an invitation...and I know, it's only been 1 month....and introducing a girl to the group of his boys usually means something big...so i won't push that at all. Maybe I just expect too much...I'm the type that just laid back..have my friends meet each other kinda deal.

  With Chicago guy, I knew that he wanted to date me. He made it very clear. He didn't text me or call me every day, but when he'd call...he would say he'd like to hang out, etc. He didn't mind meeting my friends at all...that's what I need...

  and what's wrong with Chicago guy? Yes, he's really nice. He's not bad looking. He graduated from a college somewhere (not that it matters to me that much). But...I just don't feel that spark there. I see him more as a friend. He's definitely marriage material...

  and so is this current guy...but I'm still trying to get to know him. So what to do? I know all I can do right now is wait and see. See what he does and not get so anxious or excited about this one. I keep telling myself, right now...we're just going out. I've just never been in a situation where a guy keeps in touch with you daily, but...I dunno! Am I getting scared? Cold feet....trying to find every reason not to see where this is going to go? But I do feel like although it's "easy" compared to "HIM" (aka the one I've heart so long)...it's like I don't know..something is missing...and i'm trying to figure out what.

  I don't want to be in the same position as 2 of my friends...dating someone for 1+ (for my other friend 2+) years and not having a title....or know where it's going...just hanging in there...I don't think I'm made for that..cut out for that...probably cuz I've been there...done that..and won't do that again with someone new...I just can't....

  • 4:54 am
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