April 27, 2007

• WeHo

  Last night at the abbey...we saw Jackie (and crew) from Workout! They are really pretty people. heehee. I went out w/ a few friends, but crashed early. Just so tired...not enough sleep...not enough energy. I need to find a way to get the energy back!

  Keeping options open....that's what I'm doing now. Fortunately I have friends to keep me busy  Strangely I have guy friends calling out of nowhere wanting to hang out...so it's nice to just keep busy....i'll write a better bloq later.

  I know lately my bloq haven't been filled with much thought. Sometimes I think so much I just don't want to write it down or even think about it any longer. Sometimes I just want to keep busy with other things so I can avoid coming back into "my life" to focus on the things that really bother me.

  Oh here we go...I feel my rant....

  It bothers me that I feel like I have everything I can truly want except for a place to call "i own". It bothers me that I work so much and get so tired...and I can't decide to give it up working the night job or not b/c I prefer travelling and not worrying about living paycheck to paycheck as I use to before. It bothers me that I feel I have a great job, loving family and friends, an education...but can't seem to figure out why my love life is practically non-existent. It bothers me that as much as I want a nice guy for a boyfriend (there's more qualities I'm looking for of course), I don't go for the right guys and continue to fall for the ones that seem nice at first, but in the end...disappoint me. It bothers me that when the housing market was affordable, I had a crappy job and couldn't afford the house....now that I have a decent job, I still can't afford the house b/c the housing market (despite the trend of prices going down instead of up) I still can't afford a house...or even a freakin' condo (which I really don't want to live in really).  You would think that I would at least be able to control one thing in my life...my weight...and yet, I can't seem to get a grasp of that either. I know, everyone's taste is different....and maybe my views are a little whack, but I do feel skinny women have more luck...and if you're beautiful, you have an edge...and if you're nice and smart, even better! Of course, it doesn't guarantee that the guy will not "screw you over".....but things come easier (I truly believe that...just like the saying "blondes have more fun")...I do believe beautiful people have it easier...same with rich people...and I do believe that they also have other problems than those without could never understand either....nevertheless, if i had the choice...i'd like to be pretty and rich instead of ugly and poor.

  • 7:59 pm
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