May 8, 2007

• A pretty good day

  So plans for the weekend didn't go as planned. Saturday I didn't go to Olvera Street. Was so tired that I just stayed home during the day. Even the thought of drinking didn't appeal to me. I did drink a margarita w/ my cousin (which basically sent me sleeping). Got up, went to that carneceria place near SC to find out they remodeled and couldn't find carne asada...so we ended up at Ralph's. Went to Angelica's place and basically chilled, ate, drank and talked. It was a nice evening.

  Sunday...I had every intentions to go to work early cuz I had to be at Joan's good-bye party. It started at noon. Of course I didn't get my arse out until noon time to go to work, then went to my hometown (with a stop at Target for gifts). Stayed at Joan's for awhile. Nice seeing old faces. Bernie and Rommel asked me to be Michael's godparent. I happily accepted. 

  Didn't get home until close to midnight, but couldn't go to sleep. Stayed up for awhile, went to work....and somehow...despite the fact that I wanted to get out of there (and was actually counting down the hours), I managed to stay 1/2 an hour late. For some odd reason, I thought I had to work til 4:30pm today...which is crazy cuz I never leave at that time...ever! My boss had to remind me and at first I was like "what are you talking about?"....then I realized I f'd up and tried finishing the admission that I was working on ASAP. Granted, someone else could've done it, but I started it...might as well end it.

  I've decided that I need to know where I stand. I've given him 3 ways out of seeing me...and he hasn't taken it. He seems interested, but his actions don't show it lately. At first it did...and that's what freakin' won me over, but now??? I'm just confused....I just want to know exactly what we are doing. I know we're dating, but are we exclusively dating each other? Or are we open to dating other people? I really like him, but at the same time I feel like it's taking too long to get to know him. Plus I figure since he asked last week about a personal question, I should at least be able to ask him the same...why I didn't ask at that time, I have no clue.  Heck, I haven't even asked what company he works for! What is it with me and not following through on questions? Has K affected me so much that I am just waiting too long...afraid to ask.  

  I'm not really good at dating. I mean, when I like someone, I tend to just want to hang out with that person...and when I don't, they either end up in the "friends" category OR "goodbye nice meeting you" category.  Furthermore, my friend still wants to set up a blind date but I feel weird going on another date because...I feel like I'm going behind him....unless he's doing the same, then I wouldn't feel bad. Then there's Chicago. I thought I made it clear that I'm only looking for friendship, I have a feeling he wants to date. As mentioned before, we seem to hit it off on the conversation section. He's nice and he's ready to settle down, etc. etc. BUT (and this may sound so superficial) I know the reason why I'm not really interested is because he isn't there in his career.  Not financially there. I hate that it's such an issue for me, but it is. I really need to talk to Barcopa b/c right now, I'm not really sure where I stand. 

  Seriously...I wasn't suppose to like anyone until after October!! After my trips!! Okay...I need to take a nap before I go to the morning job.... ugh, I know, I seriously need to stop and start thinking hard about how long I want to go on living this way with the two jobs....it's getting harder the older I get. I so love my sleep nowadays!

  • 4:55 am
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