I find myself distancing from him.  I just don't get it. Why is it easy to get someone from across the ocean writing me, sending me texts (and we don't even know each other's languages fluently), telling me he misses me, etc. etc....and I can't even get this boy who lives 15 minutes away from me to offer anything significant?

What is it with LA guys? I've been seeing him/dating him since St. Patrick's Day. He was the one that pursued me...called me every day...etc. etc. Now, I can't even get him to make definite plans with me. The perk of not having a serious relationship is that I can meet someone without feeling guilty....and so, that's what I'm doing. Granted, he's miles away, but at least I can romanticize the whole thing!

He's trying his best to get a Visa (he has to meet w/ the consular's office to determine if he can get that waived) to visit me before the New Year. He's really trying to come down in October. He already knows I plan on going back in May.  I don't think this is going to go anywhere, but at least for now, it's something I need and want.  Realistically, it's not like I'm going to move to France...or vice versa.  But right now, the attention is great. It's what I need. He lives so far from me, but he puts in the effort to go online pratically everyday that I'm at work so we can talk to each other. I'm trying to learn French, but it's hard for me. I find Spanish a whole lot easier (and I even think Italian would be easier because you say it as it looks)...French is so throaty for me, it's hard, but I'm trying.

If there's anything I've learned, there's plenty of men out there. I once had a grad student (while I was a Freshmen at USC) tell me...if you want romance, date a European. She wasn't kidding!  I'm now officially a Euro-fan!! They are so expressive, so romantic...it's seriously hard not to fall for them. I'm sure there are guys in LA that can be romantic, but they are few and rare.  I have single girlfriends that have their sh*t together. Smart, pretty, nice, good values...and they are single! Why is that?!!  Why can't men here want that romance? I have this girlfriend that's model material...but she decided to be a doctor of some sort....so she has a good job. But her husband couldn't make her happy (b/c he took her for granted). He seriously had it made! He didn't have to work. Everyone called her "MILF"...and all he had to do was be there for her, but he couldn't! He was too busy being selfish. Now he's lost her for good. So she's single. Independent. Smart. Beautiful...but she can't get a man to date her seriously! WTF!  I have plenty of girlfriends that are cute, single, funny, nice, smart...independent....and LA guys just are too dumb to commit.

I may not have the model's body. I am on the chunkier side, but I'm a good person....I'm surrounded by good friends and family. I'm independent...and I'm very giving when I like someone....and yet I can't get the men that I date to commit. WTF?!!  I do think a part of me is a bit of a commitment-phobe. I know in the past that when things seem okay, I try to push that person away...but it was because I didn't love that person as much as he loved me.  I pray that one day I will find that person that gets me. I pray that I will be just as lucky as my friends who have men in their lives that adore them and get them. 

So what am I doing? Paris or LA?  Can I have both if there's no commitment to either one??? I guess this will be determined when Paris visits.

All I needed was a vacation!! I'm back. Rejuvenated. 

So we left for Paris on a Thursday. Our shuttle picked us up at 3:30am to make it for our 6:00 flight. Ivory didn't get any sleep, but I sure did!  I made sure to pack the night before and all I had to do was clean my room (which didn't take too long). At the airport, we had breakfast....waited for an hour and were the first to board. Our lay over was in Philly and we had to have their Phillycheese steak! Ivory forgot to mail a bill. Apparently LAX removed all their post office box. Thank goodness we found a spot in Philly. 

We had a great time in Paris. Made friends we will probably have for many years to come. We'd stay up late talking to our concierge, Franck. He spoke very good English and says he learned it by listening to rap music. That's pretty awesome. I picked up a few french words. The basics, but since we plan on going back next May, I plan on taking a class to better communicate with my friends. 5 days just isn't enough time. We saw plenty, but missed one entire wing of the Lourve because they were closing before we could finish. We didn't make it to D'Orssay (i know, i spelled it wrong) or La Defense for that fact.  We didn't even make it to a club!  But we had a blast. Our hotel, at first was a shock to me.  I was going to "kill" our travel agent when I thought he had booked a hotel at a shady part of Paris. We were in the Red Light District of Paris!! But since Moulin Rouge is just 2 blocks away from our hotel, turned out there were plenty of tourists there and actually a very good nightlife! We were also very close to Sacre Coure.

Our first night, we walked around Pigalle to find something to eat. I noticed this guy walking the opposite direction looking at me. My cousin and I continued to walk until we felt the block up ahead was way too dark to walk through. So we turned around and somehow managed to catch up with the guy that looked at me. He turned around to his surprise to see me then he started talking to his friend.  He turns back to me and says "bonjour"...and I reply "bonjour" as well. He spoke no English. I spoke no French. But our friends spoke a little bit of the other's native tongue. So we chatted for a bit.  They were headed out to a bar to drink. We were headed out to get something to eat. They ended up taking us to this little restaurant and we had vino. They paid for our drinks and they wanted to take us to Sacre Coure, but we told them we had to be back to the hotel by 1am because they closed the doors. They walked us back to the hotel. We exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up the next day for some dinner and dancing.

I'm not going to go through details of each day I spent in Paris. But we did spend a good chunk of time w/ the guys. A big chunk of time talking w/ Franck. We also met a couple from England and we went to see some places with them as well. I met a drunk Aussie who lived in Switzerland. I found him amusing but everyone else did not want to be with him because he was rather abrasive and rude...and basically drunk.  We'd say hello to the Russian guy who was visiting Paris with his wife (his wife was apparently upset with him for 2 days upon arrival but on the 3rd day, we actually saw them together).  I met another guy who told me he loved me that day he met me! I lost weight in Paris because I wasn't eating much. I'm not a big bread, cheese or wine person....well, I'm actually a wine person now! But for the rest, it was hard for me to find something appetizing! 

I wrote sloppily on a journal so I wouldn't forget what I did that day and who I met.

The only mishap is that we missed our flight from Paris to Milan. We had to pay extra.

Milan was wonderful but for a city that's known for the fashion, shopping and food....things sure closed early! I'd want to spend a few more days there the next time I go. Actually in Italy, I want to make sure I have a significant other to travel with.  My favorite city was Florence. My favorite hotel was in Venice. Venice is exactly what everyone says it is, romantic! There's no much I still wish I could do in Italy...I felt like we missed out on a lot! I would've loved to see an opera at the famous Opera House in Milan. The highlight of Milan was seeing the Last Supper. It's absolutely magnificent! Da Vinci is a genius! Seeing it in person truly moved me! I did not expect that.  In Florence, I would also like to spend a few more days there and also do a day trip to Pisa. I'd also make sure we got a museum pass so we could see David. I heard once you see David....nothing else can compare!  We saw the Piti Palace from the outside, but could not get in because the day that we were in Florence was the day most museums were closed. Every church (with the exception of one) requires donation/entrance fee because the churches there are like museums. They exhibit art work from famous artists (don't ask me their names b/c it escapes me right now). Food in Italy was great! But after 12 days of pizza, salad, pasta, lasagna, pizza, salad, pasta, lasagna...that Chinese restuarant around the corner of our hotel in Rome started to sound good!! Definitely not as good as the Chinese restaurants in LA, but I'm going to give them a break b/c I'm sure finding the ingredients, etc. they need must be a tad bit difficult.  I loved Italy, with the exception of pushy Italian men who don't know how to take "no" for an answer, but not all of them are like that!

That's my trip in a nutshell. I had a great time!

I came back at 12:00am to the apartment. Slept for 6 hours and got up to go to work.  Every night of that week I had something to do! I helped my friend Cheryl for her wedding (it was this past Saturday). Went to my parents one night to see them and have dinner w/ friends who were going back to Michigan that weekend (they were planning on a get together last Friday night, but I had rehearsal dinner to attend). 

Cheryl & Geoff's wedding was a blast! It helps to have unlimited alcohol throughout the night! Okay, more like unlimited vino throughout the night and one type of vodka. If you wanted specialty drinks, you paid extra for that!  It's the first week that I'm working back-to-back again. I'm okay for now. It helps that I know I'll be on vacation for a week in October!! So yeah...life is pretty good right now!