I got him in trouble. I told him it was okay for me to just sleep on the couch, but he told me to go sleep in his room b/c he needed to do work in the living room area.

She has a tendency to just show up unannounced (which I find odd...cuz even I think most gf/bf tell their significant other that they're coming by)...so when she got there, I was on his bed asleep....I heard the doorbell ring..that's what woke me up. I wanted to go out, but then I heard her upset...and figured I'll just stay inside the room until the argument stopped. It was damn awkward.  I told him I'd go talk to her if that would make things cool, but he said he didn't get in trouble and things were cool and said "don't apologize...I was the one that told you to sleep on the bed".

So today, after briefly chatting with him, he told me that they had issues to discuss while at the park this weekend. One of them having to do with me. So I apologized again and said "if she doesn't want you to hang out with me, it's no biggie, she is your gf..." of course he said "no".  Truth is, the other room is rented out....and the other extra room doesn't have a bed and just random storage right now...so I asked "well, where do you have ur guest rest if there's no guest room?". 

I'm pretty sure I'm not the reason for their quarrel..just probably an added issue to whatever issues they have.  But I don't think he understood when I said "I just don't want to be a reason for any couple to fight about"....Yes, we've been friends longer than she's known him....and maybe where he went wrong was that he didn't tell her I was hanging out and crashing for a few hours before I went to work (he was the one that offered his place so that I wouldn't have to drive back home and then back to the area for work).

I haven't been in a relationship in such a long time, that all I know is single life. So maybe I just don't think it's odd having a friend sleep on my bed when I'm cleaning the house (heck, most of my guy friends stay on my bed when we watch a movie on the tube)....I just didn't think of it to be an issue I guess.

==========

So yesterday, I accompanied my friend for a procedure and ended up babysitting her 1 1/2 y.o. OMG!! Her son should be the national spokeskid for peeps not to give birth!!! I've never encountered such a kid. I mean, when my baby bro was born, he was so easy going and not a hassle to watch. All my cousins were pretty much the same. I could take them to have tea and they would sit and behave.  Her son though...at first he was a little angel....and she even said "it's so wierd, he's not usually like that"...but after an hour..his true colors started to show. He's a screamer. If he doesn't get what he wants, he screams. Oh hell no!! He'd go to people's purses and beg for food (which was rather embarassing...cuz my friend didn't bring him any food...just his juice....and no toys or anything to keep him distracted)....so I take him to Subway..and that was a nightmare. Couldn't get him to sit still. I finally took  him to the car and we stayed in the car...I figure he could cry all he wanted and not bother anyone but me.  Shortly after, he gave up fighting with me and sat in his car seat...drank his juice...then sucked on his pacifier..and went to sleep.  After almost 4 hours watching him, I had no energy to go grocery shopping, go to the gym...do laundry...all I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep!!! OMG!!!

=========

Going to have a little gathering at the pad this Saturday. Still looking at what I'll be serving. I was going to grill catfish and shrimp...but I think I'll just grill some shrimp, maybe chicken, have a salad and serve gazpacho.  We still have beer from last weekend's party....It was nice seeing everyone...

I'll hopefully get my trip approved to Palm Beach, FL in Oct. At least that's what I'm hoping. Looking forward to just some R&R. Buy a few books and read along the poolside....go out for drinks later that night..but basically enjoy the hotel room and just RELAX...maybe I can schedule a massage since I won't be getting one on my actual b-day (darn).

I've been talking to British guy for awhile now. Not really any serious conversations, but the few minutes we've chatted since we met at the Room have been pleasant. I think I just really love his accent. I don't remember how he looks like (cuz I was drunk)..but what the heck..I'm sure he's cute...hahaha (at least I'm hoping so).

After how many years, my life right now is relatively stable. NO drama...nothing pressing...things are cool. I'm actually cool too. I continue to meet guys but it's not as "rushed" as I use to feel....it's kinda weird cuz I'm just like..cool with whatever. Hang out, don't hang out...whatever is cool with me....lol. And after how many years, I'm actually talking to a British (white) guy, Mexican-Italian guy, Puerto Rican guy and a white boy...anyone that's known me know that I haven't dated any of the above in years!! And correction, I'm not dating any of them right now...just chatting..I haven't gone out on any official dates. So far it's either been via email, text messages or short phone calls....so yeah..no real dating yet. But it's nice....really helps with the ego too (hahaha). 

It's kinda weird when I think about it...cuz a part of me has truly moved on and ready to take the next steps forward. I always thought I'd love him...I mean, a part of me still does. I know a part of him loves me too, but I've accepted the fact that we are not good together. It just wouldn't work out.

I know relationships...and good relationships....are strong due to hard work. Just because you're with someone, it doesn't just end there...you gotta continue to work at making it work. On the other hand though, I also think that relationships shouldnt be so hard to make it work. Did that make sense.....

My mind is all over the place right now....I'm now thinking about that girl with the long hair that I see every time I exit the freeway off ramp. I haven't seen her in months...but for awhile, I would always see her at the corner...with her sunglasses on (even though it's like 11pm) and her headphones...while she dances. I use to think she was waiting for the bus..but then I figured out she was probably prostituting herself. Cuz she was never really near the bus bench....she wasn't always consistent..but whenever I see her, I know that's when she's hit rough times...and need money. It's pretty scary....very sad too.  Hopefully she's ok and I'd rather think that then think something's bad happen to her and that's why I don't see her there any longer....

Alright...I've babbled enough..until next entry.

So I'm going to talk about a female issue today....PMS....okay, not exactly that...but related to it.  It's a bit personal but I'm sure I'm not the only girl out there that experiences this.

Ever since I've been off my other BC (birth control)...it was way too expensive..$100+ cuz my insurance company doesn't cover it! Sucks arse...I had to find something that was under my insurance but wasn't a pill. Pills don't work for me...I always forget to take it at the same time....I thought of the patch, but that scared me cuz of all the news surrounding it....so I ended up with the ring.  It was weird at first...but I got over it. The only problem now....

Well my other BC, I pretty much didn't get PMS cuz I rarely had a visitor....but now that I'm on the regular hormones...damn! I always know when my period is coming cuz I crave chocolate way more than usual...and I'm ultra senstive. The chocolate thing doesn't bother me, it's the "ultra sensitive crap" that's bothersome.

I had a crying spell today. Not for any particular reason...just felt hopeless and alone. I didn't want to hang out with anyone, but here I am thinking totally unreasonably that no one wants to hang out with me today! WTF!! I knew then I was PMSing cuz my thought and emotional process was on overload.  It sucks!

The one good thing about the ring is that I'm not as hungry. But this emotional crap whenever I'm nearing my monthly visitation is out of control for me. No I'm not throwing sh*t at people or yelling or anything. I just want to be left alone and every little thing upsets me...which isn't cool at all. Once I realized it's b/c of the freakin' hormones in my system...I kinda calmed down a bit. I'm lying low for the rest of the week...

Saw Rachel, Jammie, Jess, Angelica, Lori, and Cindy yesterday.  A bunch of us will be running next week! 5K/10K run/walk! Should be fun....always fun hanging out with the girls. So Lori never got her money back in full. She's not the type to ask, but one should never take advantage of people....sucks cuz I'm sure she could've used that money for her wedding...hopefully she'll be more proactive and try to get that loan back. 1K is a lot of money ya know...but I digress....so a bunch of us will be running next weekend! It should be fun...i've been working out for the past 2 weeks now...run a little bit over 2.5 miles...so I'm ready for the 5K..as for the 10K...still don't know (hahaha). I do have to break in my new running shoes though....I noticed the running shoes I have now wasn't too supportive the other day when I was running...so gotta get new shoes.

I want to plan a trip to Vegas sometime soon...maybe I'll just have my b-day there...I have no clue what I want to do...

aight...that's it for now....until next entry.

I'm really getting bad at updating this bloq.  Sorry...surprisingly I've been hella busy.  Hien's wedding was a blast. It was very very busy but fun.  I got sick on the drive back so Miranda had to drive the rest of the way...It took me 2 weeks to finally get better. I think I got bronchitis in the process cuz it took so long for me to heal.

I've been hanging with friends a lot. Trying to spend time w/ Chery's wedding court for dinner once a week. Trying to cut my hours (still not happening yet).  I've been going out on dates and started working out consistently two weeks ago. Not getting into too much trouble right now....(smiles) just working a lot.

So...my cousin is representing Miss Philippines for this year's Miss Universe pageant. It's this Sunday and although it's at the Shrine this year, I couldn't get the $100+ tickets...so I'll be watching her on TV! Hopefully she places at least top 20  Regardless....it's so cool to have a family member be involved in Miss. Universe. I mean, I remember watching Miss. USA and Miss Universe when I was hella young w/ my parents....who would've thought that one of my cousins would be a contestant one day!! soooo cool and soooo very proud of her. The funny part was that I saw her in December and she barely mentioned it. Said she was doing this pageant thing in the Philippines and totally downplayed it. Then I heard she won the pageant, but I didn't realize the winner would represent Miss Philippines in the Miss Universe pageant. Needless to say, she lost more weight (she's already skinny) but that's probably due to the busy schedule they have all the delegates doing. So watch out for her this Sunday!  Oh yeah, she's on the 2006 Miss Universe official website...just look for Miss Philippines.

What else?? I've been wearing makeup! I know...who cares right? But seriously..anyone that knows me knows I don't usually wear makeup...the most I wear is like eyeliner and eyeshadow. But since Hien's wedding..u'll see me with foundation, eyeliner & shadow...and freakin' blush!! WTF!! But it's fun..i like it. I haven't done my nails though. I'm kinda growing them cuz silk wraps refills can get costly.  Enough of my randomness...i hope y'all are doing well and that life is super duper a-ok right now.

REFLECTIONS GALORE

I have to wonder why I do stupid stuff sometimes....I seem to be doing that a lot lately...I must wonder why part of me doesn't feel so bad when the logical side says I should. 

Bachelorette party was a blast. I've decided that I'm going to treat myself to a spa day every other month or every 3 months....I realize I don't pamper myself enough.  This past week was a week of pampering! Went for threading (last time I did that was like 4 months ago), manicure and pedicure (last time was in November 2005), spa day (last time was in Thailand)....so yeah...while I was sitting with my girlfriends at the patio with our robes on and chatting up a storm...I thought to myself..I should do this more often. I work my ass off and majority of it goes to paying off bills and savings. I spend money on hanging out with friends...mostly drinks and food...i've decided it's time to just go and start pampering myself...so that's what I'm going to do for now on...at least i'm going to attempt to. I need to be good to me for now.

I highly recommend Koutoubia restaurant on Westwood Blvd. It's a Morrocan restaurant with a belly dancer...was fun! I'll probably throw my b-day party there instead of getting a double decker bus as I originally planned.  Aftewards, we had a slumber party which consisted of some funny games!! I'm think Hien really had a great time just playing games the rest of the night (hahaha).

I went to work this morning...sick..i know i'll be coming down with something since i haven't been getting much sleep. I was freezing at work and what would take me a few minutes to finish, took so long!! lots of water and tea for me this week....oh and rest...but I don't know if that's going to happen.

So at the restaurant, some guy gave me his "business card"...it was kinda cute...cuz I had asked for the card of the restaurant..he brought out a bunch and gave it all to my girlfriends then he gives me another card and says "this one is for you...i hope you call  me"....lol...I'm tempted to call b/c I think it was pretty cool..never dated middle eastern guy before...and he's definitely a lot older....and lately I've been thinking I should start dating way older guys cuz i'm not having any luck dating guys around my age.

alright that's it...i've blabbed enough. hopefully everyone had a great father's day weekend.

I thought he was being a jerk and ignoring me. I get an email "been busy"...heard this before...so I write back "no worries, I'll leave you alone"....needless to say, never do a drunk call where you're calling that person a "biatch!"...I've never done that before (I swear)...thank goodness he found it humurous cuz "it's just so unlike me". Ha! So he calls me after I apologize for drunk calling (cuz after awhile I did vaguely remember leaving that message)...he finally tells me why he's been MIA. I felt really bad and now understand. He's going through sh*t....and he'll be going through it for awhile....so I told him I'd pray for him and to call me if he needs anything. Am I being a sucker?!! I don't think so.

I finally got over my annoyance with the other one as well. He's finally "settled down"...which I think is a miracle and a good thing. Of course he's now trying to figure out when it's going to end and how to end the relationship...seriously, I will never understand him.

My 5K run for the stroke association is on the 24th! It's going to be fun and good times. I'm trying to hang out more with my girlfriends....

I had another chat with a friend who says that girls always want a relationship and guys try to avoid it. Is this true? I don't think so...I think there are a lot of guys out there looking for a relationship too..and just like us women, just looking for that connection and once they find it will setlle down. Maybe he was just talking about sex...maybe he meant that guys just want sex while women want a committed relationship when it comes to getting down with someone. I dunno...hmm..something I'll have to clarify.

My cousin says I alwasy go for the "wow" factor and that's why I'm single. I'm always going for that guy with the hot body or cute face....but I would disagree. I give guys a chance to go on a date...and basically, I get turned off easily when they do something uncool..but this is only for the guys that don't have the "wow" factor for me....then there are those guys with the 99% muscle that are total commitment phobes but I still like 'em! And it's not that I like jerks or hard to get guys...cuz overall, they're nice guys..just commitment phobes...oye..i'm getting a headache thinking about this.

 Vicky's is having a sale! If you haven't tried it ladies, get the "very sexy" line!! It's awesome. Buy it online right now b/c it's only on sale online...not at the stores..I had the misfortune of finding this out late! I ended up paying full price when I could've gotten it 50%! oh well, a bought a bunch more online. I do want to try the "bare elegance" line..it looks really comfy. 

Yes, I know...I need to pay off my Hawaii trip...still paying that off...in due time. Aight, until next entry....gonna read my book now.

So things have settled down a little bit. Final plans & arrangments were done yesterday...so that's taken a lot of stress out. I can't wait for next Saturday! I so need that spa day with the girls.  Which reminds me that I do need to pack for that day. 

I was in charge at work on Friday. It wasn't so bad, but just a tad bit annoying. My goal for the day was to make sure we get the beds filled ASAP. Of course we didn't know if there were going to be discharges until around 2:00pm. 2 hours before I clock out and not enough time to bring anyone from our waiting list since they need to be evaluated before we get them in...plus, the discharges were way later -- when the office closed. Besides that, it went pretty smoothly even though we were very very short staffed. One of the coworkers got sick early AM and we had to work with one less person.

Went to get the bridesmaid dress yesterday --> all the way in O.C. and I now have to go back and get some things changed b/c there's some snags on the dress and she really did a rushed job --> even though I gave her ample time (I came in during January and gave her until June!)....oh well, back to O.C. on Thursday and have her fix minor things...there's some major things that need to be changed, but she won't have time for it...so I'll just iron it...and the only ones that would really notice are those that sew...cuz I didn't notice until I showed it to my mom and Cheryl.

I really need to learn to just close all doors. I just really need to leave LA...I think that would be the best thing for me right now...anyway...gotta get back to work. I'm doing much better each day.....just glad I'm so busy!

It's been stressful lately....

So last week was my last final.  35 questions and 5 extra credit questions. I think I got an A, but I don't really care at this point.  Life goes on.

Shace...if you're reading this...I'm okay with my decision and I think I made the best decision for me right now.  Thanks for listening to me and helping me out...I really appreciate it and you'll never know just how much our talk helped me.

I'm keeping my distance right now.  Just trying to learn to relax...but it's been hard. I'm soooo busy.  Errands galore!  Today I went to Walmart and bought some items for my friends' bachelorette party next weekend. It dawned on me that she has no clue what we're doing and I had to give her an "invitation" with information on what to bring and wear for the day....part of it, she already knows. We're taking her to the spa, but the rest is still a mystery.

I also bought all the stuff I needed to make Cheryl's wedding planning folder.  Hopefully she'll find it helpful and informative.

I have dimsum with Tahira this Thursday and then I'm off to buy my friend's bachelorette party gift...and yeah, I also have to buy some of those paper umbrellas too. Tomorrow, after work, meeting up with Trisha for dinner and we need to find a spot between Downey and LA.....I don't think I'm up to meet in East LA, but I'm down to meet in Downey or Rowland.  So we'll see.  Friday??? I'm suppose to do something, but why can't I remember what I agreed to?? Saturday, going to OC to get my bridesmaid dress and then meet up with Megan and Woosa for a girls' night out.

Sunday...rest day...go see parents.

I babysat Elias this past weekend. If I ever have a kid, I hope s/he's just like Elias. He's so easy going and easy to take care of. Such a happy kid.

I'm done w/ guys for now.  I just want to finish up with my pre-reqs and then start the Rad Tech program...and then move. Actually a part of me wants to move now. I'm just (ugh!). Yeah, that's how I'm feeling.  UGH....

Things that are happening to me personally isn't so bad, but it's not good or great (that's for sure).  I'm just trying to keep my head up right now...just trying really hard. Sometimes I wonder if everything I'm doing is worth it. I just don't know right now.... 

All this stress has caused some major acne breakage...so I'm now on the BioTherm regimen...

I will not cry...i refuse to cry right now....

I gotta update more, but you know how life gets...we get busy.  A lot of things have been going on with moi. Finals...this upcoming Tuesday...and I haven't been study as I should.  I'm tired and really really bored. I have a lot on my mind. A lot of things going on that I must take care of.

My friend's engagement party for one.  Surgery to think about it.  Marathon for the Stroke foundation (I, with Angelica & Eric's help, was able to gather a team of 11!!)....get into that bride's maid dress.....

I just wish I was done!  I mean, the more I think about it, the more I'm opting to move out of state. Once I'm done with school, I think I'll be applying to some places out of state and seen from there. I want a change of pace. Love LA, but the cost of living here is ridiculous! You have to be making bank just to make it..speaking of money, I gotta get my bills sorted...so I best get going and figure that out too

on a positive side, I haven't spent much mulah on me so that's a good thing

Just wanted to share a little something my mom sent me today...growing up I always heard about the corruption and the increasing poverty. I also heard that the Philippines use to be a very successful country. I've heard people's desires of leaving the motherland....our desires to turn our skin whiter...some have even denied they had Filipino blood in them...and now, in this era, we're trying to find some Filipino pride...I still think we have a long way to go. BTW, my parents and group of peeps in their town have a pageant every year in which the winner is sponsored to attend college....things just need to change in the PI..mentality needs to chage...the care for our environment, focus on tourism, etc. etc. and maybe just maybe things will change.

Philippines Through A Korean's Eyes
by Kent Bryan

As you know, we have plenty of Koreans currently
studying in the Philippines to take advantage of our
cheaper tuition fees and learn English at the same
time.

This is an essay written by a Korean student I want to
share with you. (Never mind the grammar; it's the
CONTENT that counts) Maybe it is timely to think about
this in the midst of all the confusion at present.

Okay....don't feel like commenting on that MSN link right now....I've been busy. I've been studying. Had an anatomy lecture exam this week...and I have a practical exam on Monday....in between the exams, I'm working, going to class, studying, finding some time to workout.  I feel like I just don't have enough time during the day cuz somewhere, I gotta sleep too.

I have bills to pay...my tax guy miscalculated (and I paid him a lot of mulah...) but I'm not stressin' about that..I'll just wait for that lovely letter from state of CA and I'll send the check once I get the balance (cuz I already sent a check...I owe like $1 or something like that)....there's my hawaii trip to pay (but that was anticipated)....but now my car engine light just turned on (my poor car hasn't been the same since that hit and run) and I'm sure Toyota is going to charge me just for them to check it out...I have to clean my disastrous room, rent went up like $120 (yah, I should just find a place that I can own...but I don't want to be struggling to pay a mortgage), gas prices have actually reached $3+ (I can't believe this crap), our garbage disposal has been out of order since last month (and I asked my roommate to tell the landlord we need a new one), the bathtub is clogging, Cingular charged me something that I definitely didn't think I purchased via my phone and even so I gotta cancel that but they're closed right now (so I gotta call them when I'm at Cedars)..and all that phone calls in hawaii totaled an additional $100 on top of my regular cingulare wireless fees (ouch).....the old Karen would be freakin' out and definitely stressin' out....but I'm just "whatever" right now....it'll eventually be taken cared of (sooner or later). 

You know what I don't get....how the cost of living in CA is so damn high...and it's not like wages are increasing that much ya know.  I know NY and I'm sure Frisco is much higher, but the cheapest 1 bedroom condo in LA is $350,000 and it's ridiculous..not only is it less than 700sq ft but association dues are $300/month and doesn't include anything?? Something is fishy here....I dilapidated house (partially burnt down) is selling for over $430,000!! WTF!!! Have we all gone mad and lost our sense?  My problem?? I can't buy any property yet....b/c of school...eventually I'm going to have to quit my day job (which pays a lot) and really cut back....but at the same time, I'm tired of sharing an apartment (I dunno)....frustrated. I want so many things...and no matter how much I seem to work my ass off...it just seems like I have nothing to show for. Yes, I get to travel (and that's probably the only good thing out of all this)...but I just one day I can just have one job where I don't have to do overtime so much and be able to afford to pay for a house, a car, cable, all house related bills, insurance, and have spending money to travel and hang with friends.  It seems like all the friends I know work crazy hours. A lot of my friends have 2 jobs (seriously, those census people should be taking note of that too) or work a lot of overtime or work 6 days of the week instead of 5....and majority of us are still renters.  It's a damn shame....