A am sooooo sleepy....I wish I had today off....or thursday night off...I'm soooo sleepy!!

The test today wasn't so bad (well...not too bad for cramming last minute). I'm getting an A in the class right now so it's all good. My anatomy classmates were asking why I dropped the class --> considering I was passing (compared to majority of my classmates)...I was getting a C+/B- range after my third test...honestly, I just couldn't keep up w/ the exams...having to study for two classes back-to-back while working 2 jobs is freakin' STRESSFUL...I just never had the time for anatomy....and being the dork that I am, I'd rather get a better grade then get a solid C in the class...yes, I know it doesn't really matter w/ the program...it's all about passing, but...I'm a nerd that way. Especially since I'm capable of getting an B (and even an A) --> if I just had a little more time to concentrate on it. I'm still taking next semester off to travel though....I need a vacation!

So it's been about a week since I stopped making any efforts to contact him....he called me today...asking "I'm beginning to wonder if you still want to be my friend"...I felt like choking the crap out of him...and yelling back, "now you understand how I feel!!". I'm only reciprocating back the friendship he was giving me --> which is basically, not making any effort to contact me and waiting for me to get in touch with him.. Friendship is a two way street....I've made the effort and if you don't try on your side to let me know you care, then F-you....I'm gonna get tired and eventually push you to the side. I'm tired of giving so much and getting so little in return. It's funny, now that I'm no longer trying...he cares.

I'm reaching an age where I want to settle down....meet mr. right and move to the suburbs (and have a weekend house in the city )....I'm tired of working so much!!  Sad part, I need my two jobs to accomodate my lifestyle...but I've also realized I've given up a chunk of my social life. Unlike the average gal, I can't easily take off for a weekend getaway. I can't spend a night out any given night. I have to plan my outings days (sometimes weeks) in advance. So it's really difficult for me to date. My classmate, Michelle, asked what type of guy do I like. I couldn't really pinpoint what turned me on to one guy and not another. Yes, I've dated some very attractive guys, but for the most part...my guys are average. He has to have goals in life and doing something to attain these goals. He's gotta be nice, smart, THOUGHTFUL....ambitious. I know there's guys out there that I've described...and I've met plenty who are nice, thoughtful and ambitious...so what was wrong with them? Either chemistry/attraction was missing, they were cheap --> I mean, c'mon!! $1 for dinner and you can't pay for me??!!! made prejudiced remarks....pushed the relationship too fast I clammed up and pushed back further, tried too hard to impress me....where the heck are quality guys in LA? I tried my friends...they don't even have the resources for me to meet guys...tried the online thing --> never works out....done the bar thing --> also doesn't work out...so what now?? I'm not going to the work route! Hell no!! But what am I to do? I'll be 30 soon....i have a sickening feeling @ 30, I'll still be single...should I start adopting some cats now as a source of companionship--> and why is it that single women have cats? Alright, I've babbled plenty.

Friday nite....went out with the girls in Pasadena. Got freakin' wasted...our waitor, Antonio, hooked us up w/ an $80 bottle. We got it for $49...so us girls decided, y not...we ordered it. Drank....it was hella good. I'm not too particular w/ red wine, but this one was good stuff. I was pretty toasty...Iv and I didn't eat w/ the group...we just drank. The whole reason for going to this particular restaurant was to see Antonio. Everyone's been telling me he was hot. Half Sicilian, half Mexican. He modeled for a bit. I thought he'd be a snob, but he was really sweet and down-to-earth. When he came to our table, I told him that he was ignoring us...next thing you know, Antonio ask us what we're doing after dinner and if he can join. Of course we all said "YES!"

We were suppose to go dancing in Pasadena...and he suggested a dive bar...we agree (since the dive bars we usually go to is hella chill, cool, and peeps our age)...of course the moment we stepped out of the car, I almost busted out laughing...all the peeps at this dive-bar was like 50 y.o. and domestic abuse victims...I kid not...but we made the best of it. My big mouth was talking too much to Antonio, but I think he was amused. We've made plans to hang out with him this upcoming Friday...lol...so random.

Saturday, got my butt out of bed at 7am to get ready for work. Work was stressful this Saturday. We had about 6 overnight admits...and I'm in the office for only 4 hours...to top it off...all 6 didn't have insurance info --> so I had to do some investigating prior to talking to the patients and then notify any private insurance that their member is in our facility. I ended up staying 1/2 an hour over...but I was able to turn off the phone lines.

Left work. Went grocery shopping. Got home and started cooking for Ed's party. Made mashpotatoes w/ salmon...and "roated" my marinated pork. It was a hit...but I was tired...by 4pm, I took a nap...barely made it up to go to Ed's at 730pm...I, as usual, ended up falling asleep at the party by 1030ish.

All my friend's babies are at this stage where they're so fun to play with...cute and fun. Trish, I'm glad you were able to bring Hailey...she's soooo cute and sooo fun!

Today, I was suppose to study, but after getting off Cedars job...I just wanted to go out. Met Nic at church, caravanned to Glendale...then to Eagle Rock..basically we had a day filled with girl talk, coffee talk..you know, the usual girl time

Surprises....Mark called...I made plans for iv and i to hang out w/ him this weekend...BUT does that mean I have to hang out with lawyer dood? hmmm...

My second entry for the night...read the other section to find out what I've been up to Below is just some random thoughts...

You're a hybrid of: Progressive Girl Girl Next Door Click on the pictures below to read more: I think I'm more of the "Girl Next Door" type cuz...well, I found myself saying "yes" to the things it said! The funny part about the "progressive girl"...yup, I do drive a small SUV (I had to laugh about that) and I wouldn't be found at a Peta meeting either.  Find out what type of girl you are at: http://www.cookingtohookup.com/quiz/  IT'S NO WONDER THAT I'M SINGLE!! I'm a  pretty stubborn and somewhat insensitive girl....well, only to Rival boy! So I called him to see how he was doing since the death of his dog....he starts off saying that he's doing better, but he's pretty depressed....and the conversation goes like this: Me: Y are you depresed? I thought you were doing fine? RB: I'm okay w/ my dog dying, I'm depressed b/c my team (I forgot what baseball team) lost. Me: Are you serious? (disbelief in my voice is noted) RB: Yes. Me: Don't you think that's a little bit too...extreme? I mean, DEPRESSED? Over a baseball team? I can understand sad, upset, angry...but DEPRESSED? You gotta be kidding me. RB: Don't tell me how I should feel and yes, I'm depressed because my team lost! Me: (I notice the tone of his voice)...listen, I work in mental health. Maybe is just your choice of words, but there's a difference between depressed and sad. Depressed is like you're feeling alone and you want to die or hurt others....but you're right, you do own your feelings. So I hope you feel better and I'm gonna go. RB: Thanks... So, I still think it was lame that he was "depressed" over his team losing. Hell, if USC loses, yeah I'll be sad (and upset), but I'm not going to jump off the bridge or think it's the end of my life if they lose! I think I'm just hella insensitive w/ RB. I mean, although I did understand his tears for his dog.......alright, I just can't relate. That's all...and I'll leave it at that.

RELIEF

So I ended up dropping my Anatomy class. I have mix feelings about what I did. I was passing and I could've probably gotten a B in the class, BUT I wasn't learning a darn thing and I was stressing out so much that my RT class was also suffering. NOTE TO SELF: Never sign up for two very important classes on the same day b/c they'll probably have the same test days (which was the case for me). I feel like a dork cuz people who were getting way lower grades than me (D & F) are still hanging in there -- hoping to pass the class. As for me, I just couldn't deal with the fact that I wasn't giving it my all. I found myself having to choose which class I should concentrate on first...and by the time I was done memorizing the terms in RT (which is basically a Medical Terminology class), I was too tired to truly memorize (or read the book) for anatomy. I still plan on going to lab so I can get the handouts and study accordingly. But I won't go to lecture --> I figure I have next year to read through the book and make my own notes...plus, the teacher I get may not even concentrate on what notes I've taken in Mrs. Mark's class. So now, I only have an 8AM class on Tuesday and the stress level has ceased. I deciding factor was when I had to go to work Monday morning and then night. I had counted on getting the night off so I could concentrate for the exam, but I couldn't get off work --> so that meant I had to sleep the moment I got home b/c I wouldn't have the time to rest at work.  BUT I think I made a good decision. I'll have a W (and have wasted $120 worth of tuition) BUT at least it won't mess up my GPA (I'm currently at 4.0) ha ha ha. Yes, I'm a dork.

I've decided to keep the mulah that K gave me. I think I'm gonna use it to buy that digital camera I've been wanting for awhile

Other things....I'm going to the BOYS II MEN concert!! Yeah, I know, they're old, but I love their music and it'll bring a lot of happy memories for moi. I asked K to go with me on this one.  And I'm taking G (cuz he really loves this performer) to the R.Kelly and Jay-Z concert. I also want to go to the Ozomatli concert in December. It's only $20 and at the Anaheim Pond...I'm deciding if I should ask a group of people to go or if  I should take my brother....If you haven't seen this band before, they are sooooo fun to watch live. They're the background band in that movie "Never Been Kissed"...you know, when Drew B. got high and started dancing on stage, that was Ozomatli playing!! They are awesome!

Well, that's it for today. I watched that old movie Gattaca...I forgot how much I liked it and yet how sad it was....so was Simon Birch...dood, this is what happens when I drop a class....I have a lot of time to sit at home and relax --> yet here I am at work...a bit tired and feeling hella lazy --> I think it's because of the rain. I hope it won't rain so much this year. I hate driving in the rain....it scares me a bit. Alright...hope y'all are doing good. Ciao.

 So my b-day party turned out to be fun...so much fun I passed out on everyone and didn't get to say bye to majority of peeps. I cooked so much food...I guess I overdid it this time around. I had anticipated 40 peeps, but b/c of the weather 30 showed up instead. Which isn't so bad, just that I cooked too much food (and bought a lot as well). I just can't seem to get the formula right. I either don't have enough food, don't have enough drinks...or have too much (as was the case last night). But people can definitely drink!! I can't believe it!

My "ex" K gave me a gift. I'm not sure if I should accept it though. I thought he gave me a gift certificate, but he gave me $100.....which seems too much of an amount to accept. It's a bit weird and I really don't know what to do. I seriously don't know what to do!!

So Somoan boy isn't interested  It's all good though...it's not like he was going anywhere....too much "baggage"...and going out w/ someone that doesn't have a car in LA?!! That's a no-no. Last thing I need to be doing in chauffering peeps around.

Alright...I guess I've written enough...until next entry

STRESSED OUT.

Two tests on tuesday....Instead of 1 chapter to study for in RT, I have to study 2 chapters plus memorize a bunch of abbreviations. Then I have an anatomy practicial immediately after lecture....I'm stressed out!!

The week after....RT midterm and Anatomy Lecture test....I'm tired of school already. Sometimes I find myself thinking...what the hell am I doing? I can make a career right now with what I'm doing. I make more than what I'd make as a starting off RT....why am I in such a rush to finish when things at work is great. I know I can even work my way up to management at Cedars --> that's how well I'm doing there.

Can't wait for this weekend. I'm hoping Somoan will come this weekend, but I haven't heard from him...maybe he's not interested after all...oh yeah, we went to hang out at his pad this past friday.....(if I didn't mention it)....he's really cute....but whatever. Life is just moving so fast right now, I don't even have time to stop and think about anything for too long. I guess that's a good thing. Sorry this is short.....i have to get back to work

 It was a tight game......but SC conquered the quarterback and won the game against Cal!!! (does a happy dance).

FREE Sample Personal Astrology Profile for Karen

Birth Data for Karen:
Birth Date........... 10-09-xx
Birth Location..... Philippines
Sun Sign............ Libra

 Section 1: The Inner You: Your Real Motivation
Harmony and balance are your keynotes. You instinctively understand the need to accommodate other peoples' interests and desires, and you are always fair and willing to meet the other person half way. Tactful, diplomatic, and with considerable social awareness, you do all you can to avoid conflict and discord. You express a spirit of cooperation and compromise and often achieve through charm and discretion what would have been impossible to achieve by a direct, forceful approach.

 Section 2: Mental Interests and Abilities
You are an exacting perfectionist with a clear, logical, analytical mind and an aptitude for work that requires meticulous attention to detail and efficient organization. Well-grounded and pragmatic, you tend to develop specialized skills and technical expertise in some practical field. Knowledge, ideas, and theories don't really interest you unless they are useful in a tangible way. You are inclined to analyze, measure, and dissect everything and to miss nuances, subtle shades of feeling and meaning. Your strengths are in your precise thinking, careful craftsmanship, and mastery of technical skills. You tend to be very good at what you do and critical of others' work if it does not meet your high standards.

Definitely a lot of things mentioned above I can relate to. I do hate conflicts and I'm more about compromise and cooperation. I am also very critical in certain aspects. If someone lied to me -- I can forgive. However, I've come to learn that working together and rebuilding a relationship takes two people. It takes honesty, integrity and desire. It takes the willingness to admit to faults and to move forward. Willingness to hear and listen what the other has to say. As the years pass by, I've become more selective in the friends I choose to let inside my life. Like Ann Frank, I do believe there is good in everyone. BUT I've learned to be selective -- "relationships" are earned not given. Valued not underappreciated. Sometime I tend to forget to say thanks to those around me who have been there through the tough times. It's when you're truly down do you know who your real friends are...and who are just there passing by your life. I've been lucky to have many people in my life. Very blessed to have a core of friends that represent what I truly value in life. All my friends that are in life has something special to contribute -- whether that be strenth, wisdom, truth, kindness....I'm very lucky. Very very lucky.

So I got off on a tangent. Working 7 days a week isn't so bad. Although I've been working for over a month and a half, I have yet to see some money in my account. I can't believe I've accumulated so much debt in the past year that it truly does piss me off that I put myself in that financial bind. But I am glad that God has watched over me and I've been fortunate to find really great jobs that pay very well.

So TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!! Before I forget, a quick shoutout to Jayson B.!! Happy B-day and I'll take you to dinner soon  I wish I could celebrate my b-day this week, but it's been such a hectic week. Two tests on the same day, new roommates coming in (our place still needs cleaning), SC vs. Cal game today, Cousin from Australia visiting....I seriously feel a tad bit overwhelmed. BUT NO WORRIES, Romer is in town so he crashed at my pad. His b-day gift to me is the SC game....he came down last night, so we (Ro, Ivy, Ed, Nicole) ended up at the Abbey. It was hella fun --> I love their Wild Berry Martini's....but what made it even more fun was my drunk-self calling J....telling him he should call me sometime!! Randomness. Needless to say, he calls while we're at the Abbey and we go all the way to freakin' San Pedro to hang out with him. Dood...he's soooooo cute.

Now I consider myself to be a pretty outgoing person, but the moment I saw him...well, let's just say I'm different on the phone. I got hella shy around him. I could barely look at him. He's really nice...6'4", half somoan half white....unfortunately I don't think it'll go anywhere. Yes, he's fun for now and I think it would be cool to just get to know him and be friends, but as for it going anywhere else, well, let's just say we're on two different paths right now. BUT it was still fun to sit next to him and be all like this -->....we didn't get home until 430am and I got up at 7am to get ready for work at 8am. Geez...talk about crazy.

Gonna meet up with my cousins tonight....my cousin from australia is visiting...he's fun times....and for all you single ladies out there, he's hella cute --> c'mon, think of filipino guy with an australian accent....but of course, he's only here for a few days. Well, I'm babbling...time for me to go.

CELEBRATION!!!!

Didn't realize how stressed out I was until I finished my second test for the day! It was hella hard, but....i'm glad it's over and I'm pretty sure I passed.

We're doing cat dissections in Anatomy lab the next few weeks. This time around is a bit different when compared to my anatomy cat dissection class in high school. In HS, I learned to appreciate the art of dissecting...this time around, I'm learning more about the muscle system and....it's like the cat is another entity. I can't really explain it...it's like the cat doesn't even "exist"...we're so focused on the muscle that I tend to "forget" it use to belong to a live cat once.

Anyway....I'm just hella happy I'm done with this weeks' tests....another day of training tomorrow at Cedars....I can't wait to relax!